The longest post IN THE WORLD!

I spent much of yesterday dividing my 300 photos up into neat categories to make uploading easier. How very organised of me.
There are so many fantastic photos, but I know noone really wants to see them all.

Field and Enemy
I basically spent my first week doing weapons training, before deploying to Dartmoor for the Field Exercise. As a 3rd year with no command position, I played The Enemy - basking in the comfort of being non-tactical. We had an ace time; a really good laugh. Although it wasn't as easy as the Friendly Forces believe... I walked a good few miles each day! Considering we had to repeatedly visit sites we knew they were observing (to give them something to observe), and each visit was a 3mile round trip. We were also the only ones that actually slept in the field, as the rest of them were harboured up in a farmhouse! However, I'm not complaining; I loved it. Especially the dressing up.

Fancy Dress & Mess Nights
Annual Camp wouldn't be the same without the copious amounts of alcohol drunk throughout the 2weeks. We work hard, and we play harder. Of course it has resulted in me making myself horrendously ill, but I'd do it all the same.
This year's fancy dress theme was Disney, and I was so impressed with the effort that was put in by everyone! I was the Lion King, but there was a representative from nearly every film!

As I said in my last post; most nights I left the mess well after my friends... That meant it was usually light by the time I got into bed. The last picture is Kim and I wandering home at 5.30am, to get into bed only to be woken at 6.30am to go cycling.

Adventurous Training
We went... Kayaking, cycling, hiking, rock-climbing and abseiling. Some people got the chance to scuba dive, but there were limitted places and they weren't interested in 3rd years so I missed out.
For the record; I absolutely hate mountain biking. Ever since first year when Hannah and I cried, I've had a mental block on mountain biking. Cycling, I'm fine with. Give me a road and I'll happily plod along. But stick me on a bike on rough terrain going up and down hills and I will hate you forever. To make matters worse, it was just after a heavy night in the mess which had ended with Steve getting wasted and laying into me. It was not a good day.
Abseiling/rock-climbing was ace, despite the awful weather! We were abseiling off cliffs in the fog so we couldn't see the bottom, and climbing up rocks that were resembling waterfalls as the rain poured off the sides of them.
Kayaking was also fantastic and the best hangover cure. I think I was still drunk when I climbed in my boat! I discovered I have a bit of a knack for it. I think it's due to my good sense of balance. However, I did capsize once, in the middle of the lake where there was nowhere for me to climb out and empty my kayak. I have no idea how I managed it, and noone saw me actually go under. I planned to carry out the drills properly (staying under, hitting the top of the kayak) but as soon as my head crashed under the water panic hit me and I ripped off my spray deck to escape! Oops. Maybe next time.
The hike was lovely too. It was a gorgeous sunny day and we were all in high spirits. We were virtually rock-climbing though as we were going up and down glacial valleys with huge boulders.

National Treasure & Regimental Dinner
The CO is all about changing the way the army recruits people because recruiting numbers are really dropping. Basically (in my opinion) he is using us as guinea pigs to carry out his own agenda. As a result, he used us to test out his new leadership scheme that he's developing to sell to big businesses to instill leadership capabilities in their employees. We named it National Treasure, and the name stuck.
I spent the 2 days with my beloved CLG (there is a lot of back story to him, but basically he started the year as a grumpy bastard, and I've spent 2yrs trying to break him). We had an ace couple of days and I already miss him. I never though I'd say that!
The first day we manned a command task stand, where teams had to build a bridge across a river whilst blindfolded, in order to retrieve a casualty. Unfortunately, noone fell in, much to mine and CLGs disappointment! The second day, Ellie and I walked around Meldon Reservoir about 4times, running errands for various members of staff and having the most fantastic gossip/catch up/moan ever. I really feel like I got to know her properly that day, and it's quite upsetting to think that we never did that in the 3yrs we've known each other.

Then, that evening, we had my final regimental dinner with LUOTC! It wasn't as emotional as anticipated because everyone had been up since 4am and so we were exhausted. However, the food was great, the company was fantastic, and I'll remember it forever.

The next morning we left the 1st and 2nd years to clean camp, and we escaped to a little cafe in the nearby town for cream teas. It's a nice last memory to be; sitting in the sunshine and merrily eating a scone with clotted cream and jam.
It wasn't until the coaches pulled up and, one by one, people hugged me and said their goodbyes that it hit me and I got upset. Silly me; I was the only one to shed a tear! Although, in my defense, a lot of them are going surfing together in few weeks so it wasn't really goodbyes for them.
And then... Hannah and I drove off home... sob.

Summer Camp 2008

On a more upbeat note: I have had a fantastic 2weeks!

I’ve spent a lot of my time role-playing... I’ve been a belly-dancing afghan villager, a Taliban fighter and a Christian aid worker. I’ve been arrested and dumped in a pig-pen, I’ve made up my own incomprehensible language, and I’ve watched people look ridiculous attempting to cross a stream whilst blindfolded.

The fancy dress evening was ACE, and I think I really pulled off the Lion King look! Everyone looked fantastic to be honest. We had some seriously fun nights in the mess and, for some reason, I managed to be the last of my friends in there on most nights. I didn’t actually drink that much but I just wanted to make the most of every night I had, and so ended up getting about an hours sleep most nights. Oops.

I’ve destroyed my body.

I sound like a freak because I ran myself down so much, which always results in me losing my voice. I’ve also developed a cough. My hands and arms are suntanned after spending one day kayaking, one day rock-climbing and another day cycling (which I hated. Seriously, I hate mountain biking). I have a scar on my knee from where I managed to slash my leg open on some barbed wire.

But I’ve had a fantastic time so it’s all been worth it. Gosh I’ll miss having an excuse to get outside and be energetic. I do so much running at the moment “so that I’m fit for OTC”, I buy outdoor clothes “for when we’re in the field” – now I no longer have these reasons, I’m going to have to remind myself that I actually enjoy it.

I'll post photos when they're uploaded...

Realisations

Over these past couple of weeks I have come to some realisations:

Yesterday morning was the last day of camp, and my chance to say my final goodbyes. However, I realised that the majority of the goodbyes that should have upset me, didn’t upset me at all. Either I was saying goodbye and meaning “I’ll give you a ring tomorrow” or “I’ll see you next month when we visit each other”, or I was merely hugging someone with little emotion because neither of us cared whether we saw each other again.

Then again, there were the odd few that upset me. And they were the ones I wasn’t expecting... such as Kim.

Little, sweet Kim, who has been in my platoon for the last year, and gone relatively unnoticed. As Sam said in his final speech to the platoon; she’s not the fittest, or the most able of the group, but she’s always tried, and she’s stuck it out to the end. By the end of this week I’d fallen in love with her cheery disposition and quirky ways. Although I won’t necessarily miss her, I feel gutted to have only just discovered her.

And then there’s Steve. With Steve comes my second realisation...

We, basically, broke up. Yes, again. Yes, for the 3^rd time. And yes, for the final time.

So saying goodbye to him should really have been saying goodbye once and for all – a pretty emotional affair. But, well, it’s wasn’t. Primarily because we’re both going up to Dundee in a few days to work on a Cadet Camp but also because, despite breaking up, I still feel that closeness with him that I just can’t let go of.

My second realisation was that I am practically unable to let things go, and I am much more comfortable with simply letting people fade away. I suppose it’s not really groundbreaking news because, if you know me at all, you know that I find it impossible to let go of things, of people, of anything. I keep in touch with everyone, I write memories down to ensure they’re not lost, and I store all kinds of junk in various boxes and drawers. I dump boyfriends and regret it; I treasure exes as best friends.

I’ve never dealt with death. People don’t just leave me... they fade away.

The Prodigal Blog

I'm back!

We left Okehampton Camp at 8am this morning, headed to Monty's for a BBQ, and then Hannah drove me back to Leamington.

I am exhausted.

I have so much to write about, but I've had so little sleep over the past 2weeks. All I want to do is crawl into bed... so that's what I'm going to do.

Tomorrow I am planning on doing as little as possible, so I may attempt to upload photos and write a proper post.

The thought of doing this all over again in a few days is filling me with dread!