Thursday, 21 August 2008

Boiling Bunnies

I am starting to worry myself.
Over the past few days I have been worried that I'm becoming a bunny boiler. Steve's been out of contact for a while, because he's been in the field, and even when he's back on camp he seems to constantly have no signal. As a result, I've ended up repeatedly txting him without expecting a reply, and getting excited every time my phone vibrates ( not because it's in my knickers!)

It's wrong, isn't it? We're not together!

H was shocked when she overheard 'love you' in the middle of a phonecall to him. And my friends pester me about why we're not together if I admit to being in love with him. But at the same time I have other friends agreeing with me that it's the right thing to do and nodding their head in an I've-been-there fashion.

I'd not heard from him in days and I knew why; he'd told me he'd be in the field and un-contactable. But tonight is my last night in England, before I disappear off on holiday, and I didn't want to go without talking to him. I thought maybe he'd feel the same. So when I called I expected to get his voicemail because he had no signal... Except I didn't. And he called me back, to tell me they left camp this morning and they're in Lancaster where there is ample signal and ample opportunity to call to say goodbye before I go away.

But he was tired, understandably so. And so he'd not called because he'd been too tired? So I'm not being a bunny boiler and the feelings are mutual? I sound like a bunny boiler. It's not like I can call back and clarify, because that would be the behaviour of a bunny boiler.

I think I need sleep and a holiday.

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